MOTB Chronicles

Katie and Mike are engaged!

My second and last child will soon be married and my job is done. (Some say not, however, but it feels like the ending of a chapter.)

Katie has always been a quiet person. She doesn't like to show her emotions. Even as a little girl, she didn't like to cry or seem too happy. She takes after me. She asked me once how will she know if she likes a boy. I said, "when he says something and that girly giggle just comes out without you being able to stop it." Well, Mike made her giggle, and smile and cry. After he proposed, she couldn't stop smiling, see the picture above? And she cried when she told me how he proposed. Very sweet.

So, I passed on my mother's rings to Mike. Before my mother died, she gave them to my sister. When my sister found out she was dying she gave them to me to give to Katie. She knew they were hers since she was 4 years old. She would try them on from time to time and ask me, "These are mine?" And I'd say, "Yes."

The Gollum in me found it hard to hand them over but I did it. I hope Gandalf and Bilbo are proud of me.

So, now this makes me the Mother of the Bride, MOTB. My first and only chance at this gig.

After 2 weeks at this, this is what I've learned and I'd like to pass it on to those who come after me:

1. You can say all you want to before the engagement, but as soon as the boy proposes, you'll have very definite, strong opinions on how things should go. You didn't even know you had them, they just rise up. It's weird. I already told Katie, "when your daughter gets engaged you'll understand why I'm talking like this!"

2. The daughter, too, has very definite, strong opinions (even the ones who have always been very quiet and compliant) and this is where the classic war begins. I am vowing to prioritize my opinions, carefully choose my battles and give up a lot - because it's really her wedding, not mine.

3. The schitzophrenic emotions that blindsided you when your child graduated high school (happy, sad, proud, worried - all at the same time) will be with you in even greater degrees now. Hang on!

4. Emotions are King and you must stage a logic revolution early. I am already considering renting some insanely high-priced venue because "it's my daughter's wedding." I felt that way with Joel's wedding too. Somehow logic and reality flies out of the window, call it back and feed it well so it will stay.

5. Get some clear-headed, slightly detached person you can trust involved in the process to help you stay in touch with reality.

Note to self: Ask God why in the world would He let menopause and the graduating and marrying of your children happen within the same life phase. Forget pain in childbirth, hormonal craziness in child-leaving is worse!